If 2/7/'05 was a season of "24"?

12:00 am to 12:59 am - Special Agent Slowpoke is hanging up clean laundry. These are clothes he will wear in a few hours.

1:00 am to 1:59 am - Sleeping

2:00 am to 2:59 am - Sleeping. Possibly dreaming.

3:00 am to 3:59 am - Sleeping

4:00 am to 4:59 am - Special Agent Slowpoke gets up to go pee. After peeing, SASP goes back to sleep.

5:00 am to 5:59 am - Sleeping

6:00 am to 6:59 am - Sleeping.

7:00 am to 7:59 am - Special Agent Slowpoke hauls his ass out of bed.

8:00 am to 8:59 am - While driving into work, SASP listens to a radio interview with Kevin Smith discussing “Degrassi High”! Crisis! Driving down the 404 there is heavy traffic! SASP was hoping to stop off for breakfast, but with the traffic, “dammit, there’s not enough time!” Skillful, aggressive driving! Finally at 8:55am, there’s arrival at the affiliate office of a Global organization whose mission is to improve the lives of all Mankind. Realizes he forgot to buy a coffee!!

9:00 am to 9:59 am - Makes tea instead!! SASP engages in his “First thing in the morning “ routine, then undertakes pointless non-fulfilling spreadsheet work. Completes first task of the day. Responds to email message from Mister Jack who expresses consternation about Thursday plans! Crisis averted when SASP responds by offering Sunday alternative!

10:00 am to 10:59 am - In the hallway, encounters VJ who starts commiserating about life, work and his relationship with Catwoman. Engages in active listening but immediately dismisses content as tripe disinformation.

11:00 am to 11:59 am - More non-fulfilling spreadsheet work.

12:00 pm to 12:59 pm - SASP goes out to Tim Horton’s for lunch and buys coffee. Near crisis as it initially appears there are no chocolate donuts left! After lunch, he wastes time at Futureshop. Gets stuck in parking lot behind other cars!!

1:00 pm to 1:59 pm - Manages to get out of parking lot!! Back at the office, he receives weekly email about ball hockey availability. Responds affirmative, but then contemplates the wisdom of this decision in light of hockey injury to his right foot. Sends out a couple of personal emails!

2:00 pm to 2:59 pm - Daily administrative casework.

3:00 pm to 3:59 pm - Calls Mastercard to activate new credit card!

4:00 pm to 4:59 pm - Takes a break from tedious work by looking for someone still hanging around the office he can goof off with. Forced to settle for former manager. Wonderful.

5:00 pm to 5:59 pm - Driving home with low fuel in the car. Looks around for a good gas station, but unsuccessfully. “Dammit, there’s line-ups at every gas station!!”

6:00 pm to 6:59 pm - Dinner!!

7:00 pm to 7:59 pm - Finishes dinner, and starts to practice his saxophone playing. Throws tantrum because practice is not going well!

8:00 pm to 8:59 pm - Finishes practicing! Sets up VCR to record this week’s episode of some show starring Kieffer Sutherland. Leaves house to play ball hockey with friends at the gym.

9:00 pm to 9:59 pm - Plays ball hockey for exercise. Frustrated because he plays poorly.

10:00 pm to 10:59 pm - Finishes playing ball hockey after injuring himself. Brilliant. First, bruised right foot, now twisted left ankle. Drives to Richmond Hill township office to leave a cheque in the overnight drop-off box to pay for his Property taxes! Arrives at home and starts to watch the episode of “24” that was just recorded!

11:00 pm to 11:59 pm - Finishes watching the current episode of “24”. Spends the rest of February 7, 2005 reading the Japanese novel “Out”, by Natsuo Kirano.

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Okay, so I wasn’t called upon to save America from international terrorists.

Maybe tomorrow.