Catching Up - slowly. . .

I’ve been delinquent. My blog’s been neglected. I couldn’t help it – it’s been a number of things – busy at my workplace, and busy with my classes and my tutoring. But also – guess I should be honest, because I just haven’t felt like it. The past few weeks have not been good – just haven’t been myself. Not terrible, but not happy, not enthusiastic nor too interested in the things I usually care about. Not sure why really, just one of those periods I guess.

This won’t get posted for many hours yet because here I am writing this at home on Sunday night, or Monday AM rather. Yes, I’m deviating from my usual practice of creating these at work. I brought my computer home because I wanted to leave work early on Friday, deciding to work a little from home this weekend instead to make up for it. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t turn on my computer until now just past midnight, and instead of working, I’m doing this instead. I’ll pay for this tomorrow. I never learn from experience. Next Friday, I think I’ll leave work early again.

So, what’s been going on? A few birthdays the past week and a half – both my brothers’ wives and oh yes my friend Princess Buttercup, all within six days. No comments for C. and O., because I saw and acknowledged them, and also because they don’t read this blog anyway. Good, that was easy.

If you know Princess Buttercup, you would see her the way I do. There is no other way – she is the most nakedly open and honest person I know. That is part of her special charm. It is impossible not to be engaged by her spirited generosity. Which begs the question why she’s friends with a dour person like myself. Anyway, in case I haven’t said so, Happy birthday, Princess. Sorry that I’m a week and a half late.

Speaking of pb, I wonder how her first class went yesterday. If I believe everything she tells me, then I’m guessing she left hockey early Friday night not to sleep but because the anxiety of speaking to a group kept her up all night studying and mentally preparing. This of course little more than foster even more anxiety, so I wonder if she even slept at all and if she puked outside the class before she started. Must make a point of asking. Or better yet, maybe she’ll volunteer without me asking. I hope she embellishes the story for the sake of my own entertainment.

I was wondering this as well on Saturday morning when I was driving out to my own class in Mississauga. You find yourself thinking many things in that long lonely drive. I think my lecture this weekend was perhaps the worst class I’ve ever done (honestly.) There is balance in the universe, so I’m sure pb must have done very well.

Movies

I saw my brother the other night and he showed me a bunch of new DVD’s he just bought. Similar to what everyone is talking about many Friday nights in the dressing room as we’re getting ready for hockey, these were the - I don’t know how to describe them exactly, “non-authorized” North American releases – i.e. imported from Asia and sold by discreet independent Chinese retailers buried away in the back of ethnic suburban malls. He has many movies that are still completing their first theatrical run in North America, “Million Dollar Baby”, “Sideways” and “The Aviator.” Everyone I know is getting in on this and it now has me wondering if maybe it’s me who’s got it all wrong. Three DVD’s for $20.

A few weeks ago for my birthday I treated myself to three DVD’s for $170. You see what I mean? But the more ponderous issue is why I PREFERRED to spend what in relative terms, is an exorbitant amount of money. Are movies just movies – another form of disposable entertainment? Or are they much more – artistic achievements worthy of commemoration, items to be kept - permanent pieces of a prized collection? Am I being a petty materialist that I have the need to own such things? And for three movies I had already seen no less.

Ultimately though, perhaps it is better not to be concerned with how much is spent, but rather with what is it I get for what I spent. Quite a bit for only three movies, but a pittance compared to the ninety-six dollars I paid for a copy of “Mickey One” (1965) directed by Arthur Penn, starring Warren Beatty.

I bought three movies from the Criterion Collection:

La Strada (1954 – Italian) directed by Frederico Fellini
M (1931 – German) directed by Fritz Lang
Kagemusha (1980 – Japanese) directed by Akira Kurosawa

Three of the finest movies ever made. Money well spent. Perhaps on future blogs I will do movie reviews.

In no particular order, here’s a list of my top 25 favourite/ best movies of all time. As a top 25 list, it includes 26 titles. (of course). This was not prepared randomly without thought. It’s a list I’ve been maintaining and updating for over two decades, since my early years of high school. It started as a top “10” list but now stands as a top “25” because there are just so many movies I cannot bear to remove. I’ve added and removed dozens over the years. A few days ago, I was looking at this again and I realized this list reveals more about myself than I would have ever thought. I think I understand myself just a little more than I did just a few days ago.

Over the years I’ve tried many ways to, how should I be phrasing this, “seek direction”, or “find myself”. I’ve read books and there have been many people who’ve also tried to help me, casually or in a professional/ counseling relationship, offering advice on how to “solve” life be it in a career context or other. Universally, the advice is the same and not helpful because the onus always falls back on myself – think about what you like; think about the past achievements you’re most proud of, find ways to made your hobby your work etc etc etc. You know, useless rhetoric like this – stuff that people say and that everyone’s heard at some point or another. Top 25 Movies of All Time - Funny how an inspired moment of enlightenment can materialize from an activity I always thought of rather immature, a habit I just carried forward from the halcyon days of my youth.

It’s not just the individual movies themselves, though the content of each appeals in its own special way, but there’s a generalization in the grouping, the entire body of the list. Of this list of twenty-six movies, I would say 17 or 18 are character driven, and only 8 or 9 are plot driven. Only 6 or so can be said to be “intellectual” movies and the other 20 or so are “emotional”. So, does that sound like me?

A professional career coach once put me through a battery of tests that concluded something similar, but somehow when he gave it to me, it all sounded like crap. People who don’t know me very well think I’m very analytical. Then they decide I’m artsy-fartsy. Most of the movies on this list are mainstream (in spite of being old), so actually, I’m guess I’m neither. Maybe this is my problem – I listen to too many people who have an opinion of me, and in fact they’re all wrong.


Dr. Strangelove - 1964
Ikiru - 1952 (Japanese)
Solaris - 1972 (Russian)
Casablanca - 1942
On the Waterfront - 1954
A River Runs Through It - 1992
Almost Famous - 2000
The Accidental Tourist - 1988
Lost in Translation - 2003
The Godfather Part II - 1974
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape - 1993
Nashville - 1975
La Strada - 1954 (Italian)
Bugsy - 1991
Roman Holiday - 1953
Vertigo - 1958
Bonnie & Clyde - 1967
The Graduate - 1967
Midnight Cowboy - 1969
Taxi Driver - 1976
The Bicycle Thief - 1948 (Italian)
Forbidden Games - 1951 (French)
A Clockwork Orange - 1973
Lolita - 1962
Dances with Wolves - 1990
The 400 Blows - 1959 (French)